Man, I wish I'd had a blow job simulator of these when I was a teenager. It took me long enough just to figure out how much lubrication helped masturbation, and that was just using the water in the shower. With just that pitiful knowledge I still masturbated like a madman. I can't even imagine what life might have been like if I'd been lucky enough for someone to give me one of these. Blow job simulators are designed provide soft, sensual contact as they vibrate and pulse until they bring you to orgasm.

Now nothing is really as good as the real thing, but when you're on your own these can be pretty close. This may be a nice treat even for guys who have a wife or girlfriend, if she doesn't like giving blow jobs or gets grossed out by semen. Life's just better with an occasional blow job, even if you have to fake it sometimes.

I've looked around a little and while blow job simulators aren't super cheap, they aren't really all that expensive when you consider what you get. On the high end, for just over $60 you can find something like the Optimum Power - Thrusting Power Climaxer that goes through multiple speeds, is lined with supersoft material, and comes with a suction bulb for extra realism. You really do get what you pay for, and something like this is going to be as good as it gets. Considering what a good hooker costs these days, you're getting quite the bargain. (Okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I don't endorse prostitution. Why bother when you can have plenty of fun on your own?)

Personally, I think a good middle ground can be found with something like the Impulse Pulsating Pink Oro Simulator (around $45) or maybe the Silicone Oro Stimulator (around $25).

On the low end—and I'm talking around $10 here—you might find an Oro Stimulator (just a sheath and a hand pump) or a Vibro Lori Mouth w/red lips- MS which vibrates but doesn't do much else. Personally, I get a little creeped out by the disembodied mouths (one claims to be a "Latin Blowjob"—how you can tell it's Latin I'm not sure), and I much prefer something that's a little more tube shaped, without all the fake lips and/or tongues sticking out at me. Just remember that you get what you pay for, and if you go cheap don't expect it to last that long or be as enjoyable as a more expensive version.